We think networking is icky. We think it’s going to that networking event and pretending to be interested in the person who is also looking over our shoulder to see if there is anyone more important to talk to, all while pretending to be interested in what we are saying.
We tend to do the things that have worked well for us in the past. “Yes, that was good,” we say. “Let’s just do more of that.” Until that prophecy fulfills itself, even if “more of that,” has turned into, “I’m bad at networking.”
How many really good relationships have we missed out on because of that?
We are all yearning for relationship, even if we pursue it in different ways.
Some of us are Expanding. This is what most of us think of as networking. It may mean going to those networking events and collecting a lot of business cards. It may mean asking for referrals or intentionally putting ourselves in situations where we are likely to meet new people. We love to make as many connections as possible with people who can help us grow our business, like grade school kickball, choosing our players, eyeing them for potential, and putting them on our team.
Some of us are Diversifying. We are looking for different, not more. Different verticals, different geographies, different cultures, places we typically don’t connect – yet. We crave new ideas. We want to spark innovation. We long to get out of the proverbial farm we left, with its silos and ruts. There is serendipity here and it brings us to places we would never have dreamed of going.
Some of us are Stabilizing. We go back and pay attention to the people who have meant something to us, out of respect, out of service, because these are the interactions we value. It is not about the transaction of that first engagement. It is about hearing, “I’m so glad you remembered,” long after we have done that work thing together. We value the long, steady march through our relationship history.
Some of us are Tending. This is deep care for our inner circle of business relationships. They have been there in our best moments, and in our worst. We check in on each other. Our conversations wander between updates on grandchildren and the next trend that will fundamentally change an industry, and we listen. We no longer keep track of who did what for whom. We are simply in it for each other. For as long as there are conversations to be had.
Which relationship are you yearning for? There is no wrong answer to that, by the way. Just pick one and work at it, a little each day, until the yearning turns to joy.
I yearn for all of them.